Grief is a process which is on-going. Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross popularized a five-stage model of the grief process. She concluded that people often go through five stages as they cope with loss. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. In the first stage, a person denies the obvious: "He can’t be dead!" In the second stage, there is a lot of anger -- often directed at God -- over the loss. There is often a "Why me?" attitude. Guilt comes into play in the third stage. "If only we had gone to another doctor. If only we had tried alternative therapies... If only..." As one enters the fourth stage, he/she realizes the full impact of the loss, and a deep sadness results. In stage five, people begin to realize that while life will never be the same, it still holds many good things. While forever changed by their loss, they make the choice to start enjoying life’s blessings again.

People don’t always go through the stages in this order and not everyone goes through every stage. Like everything else in life, grief is an individual experience, and every person works through it in a way unique to him/her. People often recycle through the stages of the grief process. Eventually, a person who has worked through his/her grief reaches a point where he/she is in the acceptance stage most of the time.

Some Suggestions for Moving Through Grief

Talk about your grief with a caring listener -- someone who will allow you to freely express your feelings. If you don’t have a strong support network of family and friends, a priest/minister or a counselor could be helpful. Family members may not be the ideal people with whom to share your grief because they are grieving themselves. A friend or an outsider such as a minister or a counselor may be a better choice for this reason. You may want to consider joining a support group where you will meet others who have been where you are and who can share strategies that have helped them cope as they worked through the grief process. For more information about grief support, please call Terri at Stevenson & Sons Funeral home at (406)232-4457.

Grief is hard work. Therefore, you need to take good care of yourself while you are grieving. Bereaved people are an at-risk population, especially during the first year of bereavement. The bereaved are more vulnerable to physical illness than the general population, so take care to eat nutritious foods, to get proper rest and to exercise in order to maintain your health.

Ways to Remember There are many ways to honor deceased loved ones in ways that are comforting and meaningful. Here are some suggestions to get you started. Read more >>

Other Resources on the Internet

Compassionate Friends (Bereaved Parents):
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

Counseling for Loss & Life Changes:
http://www.counselingforloss.com/

Hospice Net:
http://www.hospicenet.org/

Survivors of Suicide (SOS):
http://www.main.org/sos/

Bereavement Magazine:
http://www.bereavementmag.com/

Center for Loss:
http://www.centerforloss.com/

AARP Grief & Loss:
http://www.aarp.org/griefandloss/

A Few Excellent Grief-related Books

Good Grief
by Granger E. Westberg

Getting Through the Night
by Eugenia Price

A Grief Observed
by C.S. Lewis